My journey with infertility, continued

These blogs concerning infertility will have a lot of TMI, I want others to not feel alone and to now that these things can be talked about.

CONTINUED.......

It had finally happened I met the man I was suppose to spend the rest of my life with!!!
We were getting married, going to have children (4 if you asked me), live happily ever after.
.......Wow this blog is harder to write than I thought 😢....
So we got married, I went off the pill, called my doctor and started taking a new prescription plus prenatal vitamins. Low and behold we found out I was pregnant in October, I was just 4 weeks so we told our parents and siblings. Other than that we kept it to ourselves women with PCOS have a higher chance of miscarriage. What a blessing from God this truly was. I went to my 8 week appointment and we got to see a heartbeat, little arms and legs moving. Wow what a miracle. At Christmas time we were at the end of our first trimester and were happy to share the news with family and friends. All went well with this pregnancy, I ended up with an emergency c-section. Our spunky little girl had joined our family!!!!

While my body was trying to level out Matt was ready to have another baby. We agreed we would start trying after our baby turned 1. In my mind I wanted to get one out of diapers before I had another one in diapers.

So in September we found out I was pregnant again. Although I felt something wasn't quite right, when I called the doctors office they confirmed I was pregnant. I remember going to bed that night feeling off. I woke up the next morning, stood up, and had a gush of blood. At that moment I new what was happening. I called for Matt he came into the bathroom, I remember him trying to be positive and hopeful. Neither of us wanted to believe I was having a miscarriage. My mom, and 2 sisters never miscarried, it wasn't suppose to happen to me. I called the doctors office back they ran some blood work and called me a day or two later. The person that called me wasn't the normal nurse so she said yes you are pregnant. I remember sitting there on the phone thinking, there is no way I am pregnant, I have just had the worst period EVER in my life. Then she said oh, you are having a miscarriage. Really I didn't know that. I can still remember just sobbing, and sobbing, and sobbing. Poor Matt didn't know what to do with me. I felt like this went on for months. I didn't want Matt to touch me. I never wanted to go through this again. A miscarriage is not easy no matter how far along you are. If you have a friend go through this NEVER minimize it because of the number of weeks they are. God put some people in my life that were really helpful. One was a coworker that on a normal basis i see daily and don't chat with except at meetings, she completely stepped up and just chatted with me. She will probably never know how much she helped me.

So I had to go to the doctor in October he was very optimistic he said you can get pregnant it is a good sign. You will get pregnant again. If we need to visit the idea of some fertility drugs in the future we can. Another year goes by another doctors visit went by. We did some basic blood work found everything was normal. So I started taking clomid, the lowest dose. I took it the first month, the second month, the third month, the fourth month..... And then.

On a side note this was incredibly hard to blog about several days and many tears went in to this blog. Thank you for all those who read and for all the support.

TO BE CONTINUED.........