My journey with infertility, continued

These blogs concerning infertility will have a lot of TMI, I want others to not feel alone and to now that these things can be talked about.

CONTINUED.......

It had finally happened I met the man I was suppose to spend the rest of my life with!!!
We were getting married, going to have children (4 if you asked me), live happily ever after.
.......Wow this blog is harder to write than I thought 😢....
So we got married, I went off the pill, called my doctor and started taking a new prescription plus prenatal vitamins. Low and behold we found out I was pregnant in October, I was just 4 weeks so we told our parents and siblings. Other than that we kept it to ourselves women with PCOS have a higher chance of miscarriage. What a blessing from God this truly was. I went to my 8 week appointment and we got to see a heartbeat, little arms and legs moving. Wow what a miracle. At Christmas time we were at the end of our first trimester and were happy to share the news with family and friends. All went well with this pregnancy, I ended up with an emergency c-section. Our spunky little girl had joined our family!!!!

While my body was trying to level out Matt was ready to have another baby. We agreed we would start trying after our baby turned 1. In my mind I wanted to get one out of diapers before I had another one in diapers.

So in September we found out I was pregnant again. Although I felt something wasn't quite right, when I called the doctors office they confirmed I was pregnant. I remember going to bed that night feeling off. I woke up the next morning, stood up, and had a gush of blood. At that moment I new what was happening. I called for Matt he came into the bathroom, I remember him trying to be positive and hopeful. Neither of us wanted to believe I was having a miscarriage. My mom, and 2 sisters never miscarried, it wasn't suppose to happen to me. I called the doctors office back they ran some blood work and called me a day or two later. The person that called me wasn't the normal nurse so she said yes you are pregnant. I remember sitting there on the phone thinking, there is no way I am pregnant, I have just had the worst period EVER in my life. Then she said oh, you are having a miscarriage. Really I didn't know that. I can still remember just sobbing, and sobbing, and sobbing. Poor Matt didn't know what to do with me. I felt like this went on for months. I didn't want Matt to touch me. I never wanted to go through this again. A miscarriage is not easy no matter how far along you are. If you have a friend go through this NEVER minimize it because of the number of weeks they are. God put some people in my life that were really helpful. One was a coworker that on a normal basis i see daily and don't chat with except at meetings, she completely stepped up and just chatted with me. She will probably never know how much she helped me.

So I had to go to the doctor in October he was very optimistic he said you can get pregnant it is a good sign. You will get pregnant again. If we need to visit the idea of some fertility drugs in the future we can. Another year goes by another doctors visit went by. We did some basic blood work found everything was normal. So I started taking clomid, the lowest dose. I took it the first month, the second month, the third month, the fourth month..... And then.

On a side note this was incredibly hard to blog about several days and many tears went in to this blog. Thank you for all those who read and for all the support.

TO BE CONTINUED.........

My journey with Infertility, the early days

These blogs concerning infertility will have a lot of TMI, I want others to not feel alone and to now that these things can be talked about.

It all started in the early 90's right after high school graduation. All of my friends were planning on going away to college and we were making the very best of our last summer together. I had not had my period for almost 3 months. There was in NO way I could be pregnant. I was a good girl and had very strong convictions regarding premarital sex. Besides I didn't even have a boy friend.😊
So I told my mom, she wasn't sure why it was happening so she called and spoke to her OBGYN. He said I needed to come in for an appointment. After much anxiety, worry and fear I went to my appointment ( and for those of you who know me know that my mom went with me). I survived the appointment and was advised to take a prescription to start my period. I was also told this happens sometimes and to call if it happens again. No other reason given. I went back to this doctor a few more times before he retired. Did I mention this doctor delivered me and all of my siblings?

So when the new doctor joined the practice I decided to start seeing him. I had, had one visit and he had mentioned I probably have ?$&@, I wasn't really listening.
In the mean time my mom was reading an article in a magazine about PCOS, she said look you have all of the symptoms they list in this article. Except one Infertility, I was still single I wasn't really worried about that part. So I make my next visit to the doctor and ask him about PCOS. He said you probably have it, lets run some fasting blood work and see what it looks like. Of coarse I had it, my mom was the one that had me find out for sure. In my heart I knew.


What is PCOS? Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome is a problem in which a woman’s hormones are out of balance. It can cause problems with your periods and make it difficult to get pregnant. PCOS may also cause unwanted changes in the way you look. If it is not treated, over time it can lead to serious health problems, such as diabetes and heart disease.

Polycystic ovary syndrome (or PCOS) is common, affecting as many as 1 out of 15 women. Often the symptoms begin in the teen years. Treatment can help control the symptoms and prevent long-term problems.

What are the symptoms?
Symptoms tend to be mild at first. You may have only a few symptoms or a lot of them. The most common symptoms are:
-Acne.
-Weight gain and trouble losing weight.
-Extra hair on the face and body. Often women get thicker and darker facial hair and more hair on the chest, belly, and back.
-Thinning hair on the scalp.
-Irregular periods. Often women with PCOS have fewer than nine periods a year. Some women have no periods. Others have very heavy bleeding.
-Fertility problems. Many women who have PCOS have trouble getting pregnant (infertility).
-Most women with PCOS grow many small cysts on their ovaries. That is why it is called polycystic ovary syndrome. The cysts are not harmful but lead to hormone imbalances.


So I say what do I do from here, it was determined I am insulin resistant so I was placed on birth control pills. I am not fond of the pill even it was for medical reasons. Remembering to take it daily, was a hassle. Although it did help with the severe cramps and my heavy periods. I used this method off and on for several years. In the back of my mind praying that one day I would be able to have children. Time moved on and I didn't worry much about this PCOS thing.

TO BE CONTINUED........